You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
