Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
