I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
