so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
