So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
