You made me cry and you don't even care
I look better un-naked...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
