SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
