she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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