Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
