I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
