:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
