I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He felt like a one man threesome
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
