OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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