I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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