3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
