There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the condom got lost in my hair
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
