what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
