I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
