I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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