Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
nutella sex= disaster
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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