If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I am available for nakedness
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
