I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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