He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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