Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
