Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
