i think i have two assholes
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
