carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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