just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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