I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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