I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Randomize
