please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
