You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
All the doctor said was why
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
