Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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