i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize