Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Your penis caused this!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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