someone get that fucking seahorse.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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