That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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