Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize