you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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