Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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