First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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