i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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