I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
