Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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