there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i dont even know how to be here
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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