i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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