what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
