On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize