you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
