break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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