I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
