First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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