Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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