I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize