My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
