My sheets look like a crime scene.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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