summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I will pee on everything he values.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
