Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
