Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
