A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
its not stalking. its research.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
